Today I was browsing Google keywords for interesting health topics to write about and the topic of "Help me change my life" came up, for over 90,000 searches a month. It is really not that surprising to me that there are so many searches for this topic because people always seem to be looking for change. We tend to think the grass is always greener on the other side.
I understand this concept that others "have the answers and can solve all my problems," because I too used to hold the position that others could fix my life. The question is why do we think it is the responsibility of others to fix our life? The answer is not within others, it is within ourselves. So many people today want to blame others.
All you have to do is watch some of these "jail" shows they show on TV these days, to see that nothing is anyone's fault anymore. We don't take responsibility for our own actions anymore. It's always "My Mom's fault I'm an alcoholic," or "My Dad's fault I use drugs," If you can just stop blaming others for your life then you can move forward. This is truly the key to changing your life!
Now I know some of you may read this and think "Oh shut up, you don't know what you are talking about," But I have learned from experience that we can only move forward in life and truly be happy when we take responsibility for our own actions and quit playing the blame game and feeling sorry for yourself. Is this hard to do? It is very hard. When you have spent your entire life blaming others and having a pity party so others will feel sorry for you, it is extremely hard to change. But it can be done.
As soon as you stop blaming others for your alcohol problem, eating problem, drug problem, bad grades, unsuccessful life...and the list goes on, you can move forward, be really happy and CHANGE YOUR OWN LIFE! Lets face it, we all had crappy childhoods. There is always something that we can pick out to blame others. It makes us feel better (for a while) to say "Well if he/she hadn't done that, I would be better off" STOP that way of thinking right now. It only hurts you. If you want to be successful in life, then get the hell over it and move on. If you allow life to consume you, it will and you can sit back in your little corner and cry! Don't let life kick your butt. Others don't have time to change your life, they are too busy working on their own and it's not their job, it's yours!
We have become a society of whiners, we think that everything should be fixed for us and life owes us something. Life owes you nothing. We think we can take a pill to fix all of our problems and when that doesn't work we turn to drinking, smoking, overeating and other crutches. The sooner you take the wheel in your life and stop waiting for others to change it for you, the better.
You have to change your thought process to change your life. Stop yourself when you feel you are thinking negatively about something or someone. Instead of thinking 'I can't fix this" think "how can I fix this?" and work towards that goal. There are many positive thinking and motivational DVD's out there but these are some of my favorites. Take some time each day to listen to a self help. It does help you replace the negative thoughts you have with positive ones and negative people do have a lot of negative thoughts. Would you be friends with someone that said even ten percent of the nasty,mean things you say to yourself? No, you wouldn't put up with that for a minute with someone else, so stop treating your self so badly. Talk positively to yourself, just not in public (out loud), cause that's another problem for whole other blog!