What's the weirdest thing your patient has ever done?

What's the weirdest thing a patient has ever done? Funny stories about patients, onlyanurse, onlyanurse.com

Patients do and say the strangest things.  Some of the things they do are downright, well, hilarious! and some are just plain silly! Either way we can always get a laugh in the nursing profession.  We asked some of our Facebook Onlyanurse community what were some of the weirdest things they had ever seen  and here's what they said:

 

PLANE WEIRD

"I had a patient who believed he was a plane and he would run around the unit crashing into things. We found out later that he was actually a retired pilot.  Probably a good thing he quit flying." -Tara Shultz

FEMALE PROSTATE WOES

"We had a patient that wanted to stay in the hospital, she pleaded with the doctor and begged him to let her stay because she had pain in he prostate!!! Hmmm??" -Natalie Kendall

HOLY FOLEY

"I had a patient who constantly smelled like urine, every time I spoke to him.  I couldn't figure out why because he smelled this way even when he had a bed bath. One day I went into his room and caught him drinking from his foley catheter. He said he didn't like the drinks they offered him in the cafeteria and he preferred his own urine...Yikes!"- Marie Kelly

SMOKIN

"We once had an elderly lady who was a heavy smoker and she was hooked up to oxygen. When I went in to check on her she told me she would smack me with the remote if I didn't "Untie her" from the oxygen so she could go smoke. I quickly let her free!"-Linda Barret

POLLY WANTS A CRACKER

"I had a patient who was elderly and very confused. Every time I would go in the room, I would find crackers on the floor, along with Pepsi spills. I couldn't figure out why and was getting a bit fed up with it because I had tripped on it a couple of times. When his wife came to visit she said he loved to feed their parrot crackers and the parrot loved him. He often shared his Pepsi with the bird. I wasn't so angry after that." _Theresa Sutcliff

ICU

"I once had a very nice patient who was an elderly gentlemen.  Every morning when he got up he would go into the bathroom and when he came out it never failed that he would have the toilet paper still stuck in his cheek and his gown wide open for all to see. He would round the entire unit telling everyone "Good-Morning," with the toilet paper that was between his cheeks still attached to the roll in his bathroom. He was quite the sight." Michelle Leo

CINDERELLA STORY

"I had a patient that would constantly ring her call bell and tell me that she was missing a slipper and could I help her find it. I realized after a while that she wasn't missing a shoe at all. She was lonely and just wanted me to come in her room and talk to her so she would hide the shoe all the time.  I finally started just coming in a talking to her every day and suddenly she stopped losing her shoe."-Carl Rothem 

 

Do you have a story you would like to share about the funny things your patients do?  Comment below and if it's a good one, we will add it to the next article we write on this subject