WHEN GOD MADE NURSES
When the Lord made Nurses...
He was in his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said " You're doing alot of fiddling around on this one."
And the Lord said, " Have you read the specs on this order? "
" A Nurse has to be able to help an injured person, breathe life into a dying person, give comfort to a family that has lost their only child, and not wrinkle their uniform.
They have to be able to lift 3 times their own weight, work 12 to 16 hours straight without missing a detail, and console a grieving mother as they are doing CPR on a baby they know will never breathe again...
They have to be in top mental condition at all times, running on too-little sleep, black coffee and half-eaten meals. And they have to have six pairs of hands. "
The Angel shook her head slowly and said,
" six pairs of hands..no way"
"It's not the hands that are causing me the problems," said the Lord, " It's the two pairs of eyes a Nurse has to have." "That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. " One pair that does quick glances while making note of any physical changes, and another pair of eyes that can look reassuringly at a bleeding patient and say,"You'll be all right, Ma'am." when they know it isn't so."
"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."
" I can't," said the Lord, " I already have a model that can talk to a 250 pound grieving family member whose child has been hit by a drunk driver...who, by the way, is in the next room uninjured..and also be able to feed a family of five on a Nurse's paycheck."
The angel circled the model of the Nurse very slowly.
"Can it think?" she asked. "You bet," said the Lord," It can tell you the symptoms of 100 illnesses; recite drug calculations in its' sleep; intubate,defibrillate,medicate, and continue CPR nonstop until help arrives...and still keep its' sense of humor.
This Nurse also has phenomenal personal control.They can deal with a multi-victim trauma, coax a frightened elderly person to unlock thier door, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how nurses are insensitive and uncaring and are only doing a job."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the nurse. " There's a leak." she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."
"What is the tear for?" asked the angel.
"It's for bottled-up emotions, for patients they've tried in vain to save, for commitment to that hope that they will make a difference in a person's chance to survive, for life"
"You're a genius" said the angel.
The Lord looked somber...." I didn't put it there" He said.