Most nurses have a lot of patience with their patients, but let's face it we are human and we have our pet peeves just like everyone else. If you really want to piss a nurse off remember that most work 12-hour shifts so starting to wind them up early in their shift is key. These tips can be used on several nurses so when one goes home you can begin to annoy the next one. here are 11 ways to irritate the crap out of a nurse, it'll make your hospital stay much more entertaining:
1. Keep moving your arm in a way that occludes the IV tubing constantly. This will set your IV off then right before they come in to fix it, straighten your arm back out and fix all the kinks. This will drive them completely insane.
2. Allow your know-it-all, loudmouth friend that really has no clue about anything medical, to challenge all our nursing decisions. Be sure and have your friend mention that she doesn't agree with the way we are treating you because she researched the procedure or practice on Web MD the night before.
3. Have 20 family members all show up at once, ask for a bunch of chairs, blankets, and pillows to accommodate them all and have them all ask for coffee, sandwiches, ice cream, and popsicles. And make sure they watch over everything we do.
4. Have your family bring you a big mac, large fries, and super-sized coke when you are having a procedure the next morning that requires you to be NPO after midnight, then chow down on it after midnight and let the nurse see you eating it then deny that you've had anything to eat or drink. This is a great idea when you want to get out of having a procedure done.
5. Tell your nurse that your pain is 10/10 while laughing on your phone and telling your friend that you feel great.
6. Pull off your oxygen mask, NG tube and rip out your PICC line and foley catheter, and inform your nurse that you didn't want to have a bunch of tubes in you.
7. Spit at her, punch, pull hair and kick, scream, yell and throw poop.
8. Tell her that you are on 30 different medications, but you are not sure why you're taking any of them. Tell her they're all small, round and white.
9. Push your call light button right after she leaves the room and tell her you need more pain medication, even though you know it's only been an hour since you had your last dose.
10. Yell "hey nurse"hey you," or just "hey."
11. Tell your nurse that you're allergic to 20 things when you're really not. Make sure you include latex, shrimp, alcohol, normal saline and Aspirin, Ibuprofen, Tylenol and all pain medications except Dilaudid.
Any more ways to drive your nurse nuts? Comment below